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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children ranging from 10 to 27 and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
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Now displaying: May, 2025
May 19, 2025

What is the rhythm of leadership in your family?

 

Summary

Every relationship relies on communication, but when you operate as a family with many members, communication can become difficult!  Kids can get lost in the chaos, plans get forgotten, chores undone, and mom and dad are constantly putting out fires.  In comes the miracle of the Family Meeting!  Well, let’s rephrase that… A family meeting will not solve ALL your problems but it is a great step forward in leading your family and living life intentionally.  In this podcast, we discuss the REAL purpose of a family meeting (and it’s not about information shared!) and how effective meetings can satisfy one of the three fundamental needs of the human person.  Listen in to find out why you need to get this on your family’s calendar today.  

 

Key Takeaways

  1. FMs give you an opportunity to lead intentionally and gives children the experience of belonging, a fundamental need

  2. Start with Prayer and Engagement

  3. Present something briefly - your observations, information or inspiration. Keep in mind your family’s values

  4. Hear from the kids - This is key.  It is where they will feel seen and heard.

  5. Get on the same page - coordinate the running of the home

  6. Commit to it and make it happen - don’t give up! Depend on grace! 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  1. How would a family meeting benefit us right now? 

  2. What is the best time for us to do this?  

  3. What would be the key elements for us?

 

May 12, 2025

If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right - Dan Meola

Summary 

Many parents struggle with their children--not because of the kids, but because of the wounds they are carrying from their own parents.  The only path for healing those wounds is forgiveness.  But how do we forgive, especially when the hurts are deep and real?  In this podcast we sat down with Dan Meola, the founder of Life Giving Wounds, a ministry for adult children of divorce.  We talked about the importance of forgiveness,  what it is--and what it is not.  To define true forgiveness, Dan walks us through the seven marks of forgiveness that bring insight to this path to true reconciliation and healing. 

 

Key Takeaways

  • No matter how you have been hurt you need to let go of the grudge and forgive.  Unforgiveness hurts us, hurts those around us, and prevents our healing. 

  • If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right. 

  • Christianity is the only religion that requires forgiveness, even if it is unilateral.  This is impossible by human standards and can only be done by God’s grace. 

  • The Seven Marks are:

  1. It is specific

  2. It is an ongoing process.

  3. Can be unilateral

  4. Means you still have boundaries

  5. It is a choice, not a feeling

  6. Enables you to let go of anger, resentment, and to cancel past debts

  7. Is only possible with the grace of God

 

May 5, 2025

“If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us” - Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia

Summary: 

Becoming a husband and father is the biggest change a man goes through in his life.  There is simply no better “life-coaching” than family life!  But when men find their vocation difficult, it is usually their wives that they turn to or who observe this difficulty and have a desire to help.  In this podcast, we hear from women who have questions about how to support and help their husbands overcome challenges at work, at home, and in their personal lives.  So many wives want their husbands to be the best men they can be and overcome vices of sloth, anger, and lust but they aren’t sure how to help.  Sometimes wives can take action, but in other situations, it's best for wives to be supportive and keep their advice to themselves.  When do you know which is right?  Listen in to find out!  

Key Takeaways

  1. Wives need to be very careful when it comes to giving husbands advice or correction regarding his relationship with work.  It is a source of great respect for men, so this topic should be delicately considered. 

  2. Men need to be needed.  If wives are doing everything and then complaining that he isn’t stepping up, realize that you are probably doing too much.  

  3. Overcoming anger requires introspection and being curious about why it arises within you at certain times.  Usually the “trigger” is not really your child, but something that your child is doing or saying that is touching an unresolved issue in yourself. 

  4. We need to take time to think about these things and give ourselves space to consider them and bring God into that situation so He can heal us. 

  5. If you have a husband who is at a different place spiritually than you, be patient.  Honor his journey as being different from your own.  

 

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