"Love of neighbor is a path that leads to the encounter with God… closing our eyes to our neighbour also blinds us to God."
- Pope Benedict XVI, God is Love
We begin with Love because marriage flows from our deepest identity and relationships, not just spousal dynamics. Created in the image of a loving, Triune God, we must first ask who God is and who we are in His eyes. Our relationship with God and with ourselves forms the foundation for loving others. Pope Benedict XVI’s God Is Love reveals that eros and agape are inseparable dimensions of love: we are made to give and receive love. God’s passionate, faithful love for His people—fulfilled fully in Jesus—becomes the model for marriage. In Christ, love of God and love of neighbor are one reality. Our first neighbor is our spouse, and loving them faithfully is the primary path to holiness and authentic love.
Love begins with God, not marriage
Before focusing on spousal relationships, we must understand who God is and who we are in His eyes. Our identity as loved by God is the foundation for all love.
You cannot love others without loving God and yourself rightly
Knowing and receiving God’s love allows us to love ourselves truthfully, which is necessary to love anyone else authentically.
Eros and agape belong together
Human desire (eros) is not bad; it is purified and fulfilled by God’s unconditional love (agape). Love requires both giving and receiving.
God’s passionate love is revealed fully in Jesus
Christ embodies God’s self-giving love and draws us into communion—with God and with others—especially through the Eucharist.
Marriage is the primary place love is lived
Spouses are each other’s first neighbors. Loving one’s spouse faithfully is the clearest expression of love of God and the path to holiness.
Pdf of encyclical: https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est.html
Join the Cana90 Fellowship: https://messyfamilyproject.org/programs/cana90/fellowship-form/
"Let us begin again, for until now we have done nothing," - Saint Francis of Assisi
As a new year begins, many of us focus on where we fell short instead of how we’ve grown. In this episode, Mike and Alicia invite parents and couples to reflect on the past year by celebrating the gains—not just the gaps—and to recognize the common traps that keep us stuck, like doing too much, being too busy, comparing ourselves to others, or letting our loves get out of order. From there, they share five foundational ways to begin again and make this year better—not perfect, but better: growing in your relationship with God, becoming more fully who God made you to be, investing intentionally in your marriage, being present and purposeful with your children, and choosing real community. You don’t have to plan everything—just put the big rocks in place and start again together.
Start Right Now: Commit to Growing in Your Relationship with God Commit to Becoming More Fully Yourself Invest in Your Marriage—Starting With Yourself Be Intentional With Your Children Choose Community
How can we "begin again" together
Which of these take aways are most impactful for us?
This episode revisits one of the most helpful and down-to-earth conversations on the Messy Family Podcast: Family Board Meeting 2.0. It starts with a simple but challenging idea. We put a lot of thought into our jobs, but when it comes to family life, many of us are just trying to keep up. Between work, kids’ schedules, and everyday stress, it’s easy to drift into survival mode. A Family Board Meeting is a chance to pause, breathe, and get back on the same page. It’s not about being perfect or fixing everything. It’s about choosing to lead your family with intention. The episode walks through why these meetings matter, how to keep them practical, and how to avoid turning them into a blame-filled marathon. You’ll hear encouragement to dream a little, pick a few priorities, write them down, and actually enjoy the process. Think unity, clarity, and maybe even dinner and a glass of wine along the way.
Intentional families don’t happen by accident. A Family Board Meeting is about choosing the important over the merely urgent.
The goal is unity, not perfection. Unity is essential for your children and for your own personal growth.
Dream big, plan simple, act now. You can’t do everything. That’s okay. Choose the top two or three areas that really matter right now.
Failure is part of the process—and that’s normal. Fail fast, refine, and keep moving forward.
Make it human—and even fun. You’re building a life together, not just a to-do list.
When can we have these intentional conversations? Should we do a FBM course?
Get the course here: https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting/
Get your free guide here: https://messyfamilyproject.org/guide/family-board-meeting-guide/