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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
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Jul 28, 2025

“The two great commandments name the three loves – loving God, loving neighbor, and loving yourself. All three loves are necessary and central to our Faith.  All three.” - Dr. Peter Malinoski

 

Summary

How can I learn to truly love my family?  The reality is that the degree to which you love yourself will be the maximum that you can love your family.  Ordered self-love is not an optional thing – it’s essential.  This is especially true for spouses and parents because their love is tied intimately to the full flourishing of others, namely, their children!  We are made in God’s image and likeness, which means that, like the Trinity, we are constantly in relationship with others and even with ourselves.  Learning to love ourselves directly affects how well we can love others.  Listen in for advice from Dr. Peter Malinoski, Catholic psychologist and teacher in the field of therapy using Internal Family Systems.  This podcast is essential to learn how to love your spouse and children well, by first learning to love yourself.  

 

Key Takeaways

  • We are made in the image and likeness of God, which means that like the Trinity, we have the capacity for relationship within ourselves.

  • The primary human relationship that we have is with ourselves, then others. 

  • 90% of conflicts with your spouse are a reaction to unresolved issues from the past, not what is happening in the present.  

  • The “innermost self” is the core of the person, who we really are.  Our “parts” are small personalities inside of us who battle within us. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • How can you begin to see each other the way that God sees you? 

  • Think about a conflict you had recently.  Ask your spouse, “Tell be about why you felt the way you did.” and be open to learning more. 

 

Resources

To learn more: https://www.soulsandhearts.com/

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