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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
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Sep 15, 2025

“I think that bringing children into the world is like bringing holiness into the world.” - Catherine Pakaluk

 

Summary

In this episode, Mike and Alicia sit down with Catherine Pakaluk, economist and author of Hannah’s Children, to challenge common cultural myths about large families. Secular researchers often assume religious women have many children because they are oppressed, but Catherine explains why this is far from true. Instead, faith gives parents the conviction that children are a blessing and the true good of marriage. Struggles, dysfunction, or finances exist in every family, regardless of size—yet joy comes from embracing life, not avoiding it. Mothers discover their fullest potential through their children, and their joy isn’t tied to public opinion or material resources. Parenthood is priceless, a long-term collaboration with God, who always gives grace when we say yes to Him.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Secular researchers assume that religious women have many children because they are oppressed.  This is a myth. 

  • A conviction formed by faith that children are a good of marriage is not irrational. 

  • Religious women often are more open to children because they see children as a blessing and their “yes” is an assent to receiving those blessings from God.

  • Many people use their dysfunctions and struggles as an excuse to not have more children, but the reality is that those issues are present regardless of the number of children you have. 

  • Mothers achieve their full potential through their children. 

  • Most mothers of large families don’t care what people say because their joy doesn’t come from that anyway. 

  • Financial incentives to have children don’t work because most parents don’t need more material resources to have more children. Parenting is so valuable that money can’t buy it.  It is priceless. 

  • Mothers should never focus on “being done”.  Embrace your fertility and God will give you the grace when you need it. This is a long-term collaboration with the Lord. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • Do we talk about “being done”?  Or do we talk about “getting started”?  

  • Do we see children as a blessing?  Do we want more blessings in our lives right now? 

Resources

Buy the book on Amazon:  https://a.co/d/gEGkjEy

 

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