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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children ranging from 10 to 27 and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Mar 17, 2025

“Lovemaking puts flesh on the vows that we exchange in marriage” - Byron and Francine Pirola

 

Summary

A few years ago in Australia, we met an amazing couple who we immediately wanted to share with our listeners.  Byron and Francine Piroloa from Smart Loving, are on a mission to make marriages stronger all over the world and they are willing to talk about that subject that few couples will tackle - physical intimacy.  We aired this podcast five years ago and it got such a great response that we decided to put it up again for all of you.  Listen in as we talk to the Pirolas about how and why you should make time for sex, how the arousal pattern for men is different from women and why sex gets better and better the longer you are married!  This is a podcast filled with wisdom, but also laughter and honesty.  We hope you will enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed talking to them! 

 

Key Takeaways

  • Anything precious and unique needs rules to be protected.  That is why the Church gives us boundaries in this area to teach us how to be appropriately vulnerable in our marital relationships

  • A person’s sexual prime is in their 20s, but our erotic prime is reached in our 50s. This is a culmination of our relationship and our intimacy that is built over time. 

  • Sexual relations can slip into the “recreational” category in our minds when we are trying to survive.  The antidote is seeing sex as a sacred communication that needs to be prioritized. 

  • Desire, arousal, climax, resolution is a typical male pattern.  For most women the pattern is different - arousal, or foreplay, creates desire in the woman.  

  • We need to work and train our brains to connect with our spouse emotionally, to be present, so the intimacy that we share emotionally and physically. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • How are we creating a romantic environment in our relationship?  Where are we making space for marital relations?

  • How are we opening our hearts to our spouse in lovemaking?  Can we work on being present to our spouse and retrain our brains to focus on them? 

 

Resources

 

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