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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
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Sep 29, 2025

Summary

Parenting isn't just about being present—it's about leading with purpose because children need guidance, not just companionship. In this episode, we start by looking at some quotes from celebrity parents to examine how they are misguided. The reality is that parents are called to protect, not simply please. And we each have different roles:  fathers embodying hope and authority, mothers offering love and intuition. Both are crucial, and when either dominates too much, imbalance follows—leading to fragility or rigidity. We need to recognize our children’s gifts and desires and direct them by setting limits and giving formation.  Where do we get these limits?  By seeking the wisdom that is from above.  We can’t figure out life without God’s wisdom and kids can’t figure life without us. Parents need to hold a vision of who their child can become and make tough calls for their good. Simply “accompanying” isn’t enough. Instead, loving leadership is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give.

Key Takeaways

 

  • Parenting is leadership, not passive companionship.

  • Fathers and mothers offer distinct but complementary strengths—hope and authority vs. love and intuition.

  • Children need structure, like a river needs banks—boundaries guide them safely.

  • Wisdom is essential—parents must seek it and model it as they lead.

 

Couple Discussion Questions

 

  • In what ways do we each naturally lead our children—where do we shine, and where do we fall short?

  • Are we setting strong enough “banks” for our kids, or are we just going with the flow?

  • How can we invite God's wisdom into our parenting decisions, especially when we're unsure or disagree?

 

Earthen Vessels book: https://matthewleeanderson.com/book/earthen-vessels/

 

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