Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30
Back by popular demand, this is another interview that we did with Michele Doman, Alicia’s mom and mother of 10 grown children, grandmother to over 55, and great grandmother to more than 7! In the last interview, we talked about Michele’s life as a young wife and mother. In this conversation, we talk more about being a parent of a large family and how she was able to do that successfully over the last 50+ years of marriage. Listen in and get some wisdom on discipline, relationships with teens, and managing a large household. You will hear that the struggles are real, but so are the joys and blessings of marriage and family life.
https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting-live/
www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com
Watch here: https://youtu.be/Zd_I6cwvcRM
Of course your children don’t get along. They don’t know how to get along! That’s kind of what you are doing as parents, teaching them what they don’t know - Mike and Alicia
All of us struggle to live in a community. That is the human condition - we need other people but we also find it hard to live with them! This is true for children, but also for adults. In this episode, we answer some questions that our listeners had about what to do when your kids fight with your friends' kids, how to handle dividing up household responsibilities with your spouse, and what to do with adult children who are living at home. It's hard for kids to learn, but it’s also hard for parents to know how to teach in a way that can be received. Listen into this conversation and take some time to discuss these important topics with your spouse.
https://messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting-live/
“Healing is an essential dimension of Christinaity. It expresses the entire content of our redemption.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth
Some of us think of healing as being “for other people”, those with trauma, abuse, or mental illness. But that is not the way that Dr. Bob Schuchts sees healing. As you will hear, he believes that healing is part of the story of every Christian because we all have been damaged by our own fallen nature and we all live in a broken world! There is an anointing in our Church right now for healing ministries like this and we believe healing is essential for every parent so they can be who God is calling them to be in the lives of their children. We have been personally blessed by Dr. Bob’s teaching and ministry through the John Paul II Healing Institute and we are very excited to share this interview with him. Listen in to this conversation about why we need healing, how to be healed, and the role that Christ wants to play in each of our journeys.
"Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
God did not create man in isolation, He created man to live in community with others. This is the best path for the full development of the human person! Men need other men to push them, support them, love them, and let them know they have what it takes. In this touching interview, Mike talks to John Doman, Alicia's dad, about his experience as a young Marine in Viet Nam and the events that set the course of his life. They cover John’s marriage to Michele, his wife of 50 yrs, his struggle with PTSD after the war, and how the brothers God gave him throughout his life saved him again and again - physically and spiritually. Listen to this very important conversation about the importance of relationships and how God can use them to show us His love over and over again.
Family Board Meeting - LIVE! : messyfamilyproject.org/course/family-board-meeting-live/
Watch here: https://youtu.be/FIT6s7szDlU
"This is a book about love; more exactly, it is about the love that knows no end, the love our hearts yearn for. The love that consumes, that reverberates, that heightens—it is a love that costs everything—yet offers everything. - Theresa and Peter Martin, The Rule
When the young priest Fr. Karol Wojtyla was living in Poland, he wrote a “rule” for married couples, similar to the protocols that religious orders follow for their way of life. His suggestions were born out of his deep friendships with young married couples who he observed and who helped him see what married couples need to do to find true life within the married vocation. We heard about this book and were immediately intrigued, so we invited Theresa and Peter Martin to share with us more about their book, how it came to be, and about The Rule itself. In this podcast, we talk about the challenges of married life and how the Church can help us live a life of grace, the role of children in this quest of holiness, and what a life of prayer looks like in the home. Most importantly, we talk about community and how essential it is for families to support each other in their common life. Listen in and see how you can join in this movement of married couples living the Rule outlined by St. John Paul II.
https://www.wojtylaci.com/
Watch here: https://youtu.be/QT9SqsDCxR8
“When an army retreats on the battlefield, it doesn’t mean that they are giving up. It can mean that they are taking time to reassess and regroup so they can come back stronger. This is the essence of a Family Retreat.” ~ Mike Hernon
The concept of a family retreat is something that we have developed over the years for our own family. It grew out of our desire to regroup and reconnect with our kids outside of the daily chaos in our home. To do this, we have taken our children to vacation homes, retreat houses, and occasionally to a hotel, to take some time for family fun, team building activities, teaching and prayer. We don’t use a set program, but we do have the same principles that we use over and over. In this podcast, we share these principles with you so you can develop your own retreat for your family. If you would like more than what is just offered on this podcast - check out our Family Retreat Guide found on our website! Even if you don’t do a retreat this year, listen in so you can talk about it with your spouse and develop a strategic “retreat” for your family.
Family Retreat Guide: messyfamilyproject.org/guides/
Watch the episode here: https://youtu.be/A5pQ-qaJ9vY
We love hanging out with Chris and Natalie but in this interview, we found out something else we have in common. Both of us had honeymoons that were epic fails! Is the last time you got away, your honeymoon? Hear from all four of us as we talk about the first time that we got away as a married couple without our children and why we think it’s so important. Parents have a lot resting on their shoulders. Work, the busyness of family life and the strains of our world need to be relieved by taking time to get away from ordinary life to be reminded of who we are and our first priorities. Getting away has a price but the return is unbelievable! Listen in as we chat with Chris and Natalie Stefanick about the first time that they got away, some crazy failures on our honeymoon and how you can make the most of the time when you go away.
More infomation at catholiccouplesgetaway.com
“Christian marriage is the school of love, where despite the limits of our own love, we can discover Christ’s presence and power to teach us to love one another with the Love that never fails” - Peter and Debbie Herbeck
When we offer date nights, we try to pick topics that are fun for couples but also useful and thought-provoking. That's why we are so excited to share with you this interview we did on our June Date Night with Peter and Debbie Herbeck. They have been in ministry together most of their adult lives and are the authors of a book that expresses much of what we believe and teach on marriage: Lessons from the School of Love: Cultivating a Christ-centered Marriage.
Listen in to this conversation and hear from this wise and authentic couple. When Peter and Debbie married, they had the challenge of coming from two different faith backgrounds, two different family dynamics, plus the challenge of two very different personalities! You will hear how they tackled forgiveness, learned to be vulnerable, how they handled the differing roles of father and mother, and most of all, how they helped their children encounter Christ. You will love listening in to this conversation!
Lessons from the School of Love: Cultivating a Christ-centered Marriage: https://stpaulcenter.com/product/lessons-from-the-school-of-love-cultivating-a-christ-centered-marriage/
Join us for future Date Nights by getting on our mailing list here: messyfamilyproject.org
“Teaching is an essential part of our faith that reminds us that following Jesus Christ transforms every part of our lives, from our attitude toward money, to the choices we make at the doctor’s office, to the way we build our families.” ~ Nancy Bandzuch
Parents are charged by God to be good stewards of their children and caring for children includes forming them in the faith and teaching them! This is especially important in our culture where there is widespread confusion about some of the most essential issues, in addition to issues where Catholics can disagree. Nancy Bandzuch has taken on this challenge to help parents discuss these issues with their children clearly in the book Catholic Social Teaching for Youth available through her ministry Catholic Sprouts. In this interview, we talk about why this task of the formation of children is so important, how to use this book for a variety of ages, and what is covered. Listen in to be empowered to embrace the task of forming your children in the truth.
www.CatholicCouplesGetaway.com
Watch here: https://youtu.be/zse3JrTzNuU
“Words of affirmation are simply true statements affirming the worth of another person” ~Gary Chapman
Parents need to take time to consider how they are intentionally calling out the good in the lives of their children because it is within the family that people have their identity - who they are - confirmed and then affirmed over the years. This is just as essential to children as food, clothing, or education! One of the ways we have instilled affirmation in our family culture is the practice of “honoring”. We usually do honorings on someone’s birthday or times of transition like graduations. Listen to this podcast to find out how to start this practice in your home, why it is important, and the effect it can have on your family.
For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
Watch here: https://youtu.be/tHK1vP_SOXE
“Mothers are the strongest antidote to the spread of self-centred individualism… It is they who testify to the beauty of life”. - Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia
The life of a mother is hidden and powerful at the same time, but the message of our culture is that you only matter if you have a strong resume, evidence of your worth, and an education to back it up. This is simply not the way God sees the vocation of motherhood! In this interview with Christine Hanus, author of the book Everyday Heroism we discuss the reality that the “hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” even when we don’t feel like it. This conversation is full of tears, laughter, and real stories about real moms who deal with the ups and downs of raising children. We hope that this podcast inspires all moms to be the best person they can be for their kids, but also for themselves. Embracing motherhood means embracing personal growth and holiness on a whole new level.
Buy Christine’s book here: https://amzn.to/3J5kcwN
Getaway - Early bird ends 6/30 - catholiccouplesgetaway.com
New and Improved Website - Check it out! - messyfamilyproject.org
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ” – Mark Twain
All families need to play together. Why? Because this is how you lay the foundation for your child’s belief in God, his self-esteem, and this is how you communicate to him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you love him. In this podcast, we dive deeply into the importance of doing an intentional Family Fun Day and give some practical tips on how to do it so everyone wins. This month’s Play and Pray Challenge is a great excuse to think about how you can grow closer as a family through play and fun!
Play and Pray challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge
Getaway - Early bird ends 6/30 - catholiccouplesgetaway.com
MFP 091: King of the Home - https://messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-91-king-of-the-home/
MFP 205: Nine First Fridays to Change the World - https://messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-205-nine-first-fridays-to-change-the-world/
“Do a date night! It’s cheaper than marriage counseling.”
This is an oldie but goodie podcast for you. We released this one way back in 2015 when we were just starting out but the content in it is something that even we need to be reminded of! When we have gotten into “slumps” in our marriage when we don’t feel like we are connecting, working together, or in sync with each other, that is when we need to take a look at our date nights. Are we spending intentional time together? Are we having fun together? Are we making room in our lives for our spouse? Listen in to this podcast where you will get some inspiration to not just get out of the house, but to also make your time together effective and impactful for your relationship.
Play and Pray challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge
Website - www.messyfamilyproject.org
Date Night Herbecks - 6/15 - www.messyfamilyproject.org/programs/date-nights/
Getaway - Early bird 6/30 - catholiccouplesgetaway.com
Watch episode here: https://youtu.be/r6NACXjUaVs
“If all fathers fulfilled their duty of watching over the discipline of their children, we should have but few crimes and few executions.” ~ St. Alphonsus Ligori
If you haven’t listened to MFP239 on the foundations of discipline, you should do that first. This podcast will give the practical steps for those principles. Once a parent has clear in their mind why they are discipling and they have made a plan on following through, they need to actually work that plan! In this podcast we give the practical things to keep in mind as you work to discipline, or form the hearts and minds of your children. There are six questions you should ask yourself when evaluating your child’s actions. Not all behavior is a child acting out or defying you. How do you know the difference and how should you respond? Listen in!
Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/
Watch here - https://youtu.be/vl0t6KbGJok
One thing that we at the Messy Family Project are passionate about is family culture. We call it “the secret weapon of the Catholic family” because it can be so powerful! In this interview, we talk to Elissa Tiprigan of Catholic Family Crate, a business that is in the business of Catholic culture. We talk about how and why she started her business, the importance of beauty in the home, and the elements of what it takes to bring a family together. This episode is full of great ideas of how to engage your children from toddlers to teenagers and bring them into closer relationship with you and with the Lord who is the source of life. As a special gift, we are also including this download on Building a Catholic Culture at Home that you can use to look at your family culture and get some ideas to strengthen it. In addition, Elissa gave all our listeners get 20% off sitewide by using the code MESSYFAMILY!
And here is their website: Catholic Family Crate
And a link to all their free resources: Free Downloads
Watch the episode here: https://youtu.be/RZdxVvyDGmw
To become a better parent, I need to become a better person ~ Mike and Alicia
One of the subjects we are most often asked about is discipline. We know how hard it is to form the will, heart and mind of a child! Though every child is different and every parent is different, there are some principles that we can give you to help you make a discipline plan that works for you and your spouse. In this episode, we start with the foundational points.. First, we need to get our hearts right and recognize why we are taking the time to discipline in the first place. Then, parents need to speak with confidence, set clear boundaries, and do so keeping in mind that your role in affirming your child is essential. Listen in as we start this essential conversation.
Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/
Watch here - https://youtu.be/vmEzF1MCvPE
“When we're able to put most of our energy into developing our natural talents, extraordinary room for growth exists. So, a revision to the "You-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be" maxim might be more accurate: You cannot be anything you want to be—but you can be a lot more of who you already are.”
― Tom Rath, Strengths Finder
Very often parents focus on improving the weaknesses in their children, but actually the opposite is more effective. The best way for any person to grow is to focus on their strengths - virtues, talents, or what they are naturally good at. Using those strengths builds confidence and actually can then make up for the weaknesses. Listen in as we discuss how to empower children through “strengths-based parenting”.
Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/
Watch here - https://youtu.be/TTV85m_tlp0
“You know that feeling you get after a good night’s sleep?
Yea, me neither.” - Every Parent Ever
If you feel like you are living in a state of almost constant exhaustion, you are not alone. It's not just the sleepless nights and crazy days - that’s a reality that parents have always had to deal with. We believe parents are more exhausted today because there are certain elements of our culture that do drain our energy more than parents in the past experienced. In this podcast, we pinpoint those elements so you can see them, recognize them for what they are, and learn how to manage them. You do not have to be worn down all the time! Managing the stressors of parenting is possible and hopefully we can help you with these tips and tricks!
Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/
Watch here - https://youtu.be/inI8NPgFzsg
"Men do not fear a powerful hostile army as the powers of hell fear the name and protection of Mary." -St. Bonaventure
One of the questions we ask parents as an icebreaker for our in-person events is “How many of your childrren have used rosaries as weapons?” This is a common experience of families with young children as parents try to pray. We get it. For a long time, we found it hard to encourage devotion to the rosary with our children, but we have grown and learned a lot over the years! As we launch into the month of May, we wanted all our listeners to take some time to reflect on why the Blessed Mother is so important to families. In this re-release of an earlier podcast, we talk about devotion to Our Lady, how to pray the rosary as a family creatively, and how she can inspire us in our family life. Listen in and be encouraged and inspired!
Find all this and more at www.messyfamilyproject.org
Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
“Before we began the adoption process, before we could be the parents our children needed us to be, I had to grieve those losses. I had to offer my broken dreams to Jesus, and trust He would not permit me to carry the cross of infertility unless He could bring something beautiful out of it.” - Emily Stimpson Chapman
This interview with Emily and Chris Chapman is an amazing conversation about some deep and painful topics, but sprinkled with laughter and joy! Emily Stimpson Chapman is an accomplished author and Insta personality, but she is also a wife, mother, and friend to us! Through their own journey in the ups and downs of single life and then marriage, Chris and Emily have learned many lessons that they share with us in this podcast with wisdom and humor. It's amazing to hear how you can go from living alone, to living with a husband, to living with 3 babies in a very short amount of time. Add to that a basement flooding with sewage, ailing parents, and adjusting to family life overall makes for some interesting conversations! Join us for this visit with the Chapmans and be encouraged on your unique journey with the Lord.
Find all this and more at www.messyfamilyproject.org
Watch here - https://youtu.be/QBesLrHJ4vw
“How can there be too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers.” - St. Theresa of Calcutta
There is great confusion in our world, even among good Catholics, about the purpose of marriage and even the purpose of having children. Catholics do not “discern having another child”. Instead, our default is that we are always open to new life in our families, but in grave circumstances, we can postpone pregnancy for the overall good of our family. In this episode, we discuss how we can form our conscience to come to a deeper understanding of the role of children in our marriage that includes, but also goes beyond, financial considerations. Discerning this area of marriage can be tricky, so we called a lifeline for this one, and invited Jonathan and Amanda Texiera, founders of WalletWin, to come on and help us to navigate this issue and give couples good questions to discuss with each other and options to consider.
Watch the episode here: https://youtu.be/x_vnTYkxO9Y
For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
“Its better to be wrong together than right alone” - Mike and Alicia
There are many things that spouses need to navigate in life - finances, educational choices, work issues, in-laws - and for all of these issues there is an “X factor” that makes all the difference - UNITY. Without unity, even the most perfect of scenarios will not bring peace, but with unity there is nothing that life throws at a couple that they will not be able to handle. The question is, how do you forge that unity with each other when you have two different visions of what your family should look like? In this episode, we tackle this difficult question by encouraging couples to “push up”; to look at your life from the 50,000 foot level. Instead of starting with the details, start with the big picture. Those are the conversations that are most helpful. Listen in as we give couples some concrete questions to discuss with each other to build that unity that is absolutely essential to a flourishing marriage and family life.
Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org
Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/q365bqR8NTI
“Dream big, plan simple, act now.” - Mike and Alicia Hernon
Dreaming is an integral part of living a life to the fullest. But dreams that take us away from our vocation are fantasies and actually detract from living an abundant life. What is the difference and why is it important? Dreaming in the best sense is an essential skill to have. Not everyone is a natural dreamer, but we can all learn to be! In this podcast, we discuss having a Growth mindset versus a Fixed mindset and how that affects our family life. We also give some tips for how to rise above the everyday work that we do and create a vision for your family that will motivate and inspire you to grow.
Watch here: https://youtu.be/Sh-X0FGePeo
Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org
“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.” - Brene Brown
The emotions of young people can be overwhelming to us, but we have to realize that they are overwhelming to them as well! How can parents help children to regulate their emotions in a healthy way? Not every emotion needs discipline, sometimes kids need understanding and empathy to assist them in learning how to move through their own feelings. In this podcast, we give some practical steps for parents to help their child to recognize, express, and get in control of their strong emotions. This is an issue that can be tough for parents, especially if they have never learned this skill themselves, but it is essential for the well-being of every child.
Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/
Find information on this and more at https://messyfamilyproject.org/
Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/ZGS5dMBEMCc
Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents’ welfare. - Gaudium et Spes, 50
Listener questions are back! We had a wonderful time visiting with listeners all over the East Coast and as we traveled we collected questions from them. Here are a few of those questions including how to emotionally handle the mess and chaos that inevitably comes with young children, getting kids to behave at mass, and family of origin issues. We also talk about bringing the Montessori philosophy into how you view your children and the importance of living with purpose. Listen in to our conversation with Katie who asks us these questions from the perspective of “every parent” who deals with these issues on a daily basis.
Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/
For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
View the episode here - https://youtu.be/ICRiQC2bftA