"True love involves the selfless pursuit of what is best for the other person, even if it means sacrificing one’s own preferences and desires” ~Dr. Edward Sri
We are so happy to share with you the recording of one of the largest public date nights we have ever had! Our interview with Dr. Ted Sri and his wife Beth was fun, insightful, and, we hope, inspirational to everyone who heard it. Their new book, The Good the Messy and the Beautiful has the same perspective towards family life that we have on our podcast - that life is full of difficulties and trials, but this is the path to joy and true life! The goal of family life is not just to survive, but to grow in holiness. Some of the topics that we cover in this conversation are emotional and physical intimacy, dealing with woundedness in marriage, and why your marriage is the foundation of your home, but also part of the foundation of the Church! Listen in to hear the wisdom of Ted and Beth Sri in our conversation with them.
It is not our job to change our child. It is their job to change us ~ Maggie Radzik
Oh boy, do we have a treat for you! In this podcast we have a fascinating conversation with catechist and Montessori trainer Maggie Radzik. Maggie is a leader in Catholic Montessori in the US and she is committed to seeing the work of Maria Montessori applied in a truly Catholic context. What is so genius about Dr. Montessori’s philosophy is that she drew her conclusions not from her own theories, but through first observing the children. She approached the child with humility, knowing that God designed them in a certain way, and that the adults around the children need to not impose their own will and ideas on the children but instead provide an environment for that child to grow and develop into the person God made them to be. Parents can learn much from this no matter how old their children are! This humble approach to the child can be applied to toddlers, teenagers, and all in between. There are so many topics covered in this podcast - potty training, discipline, tantrums, intellectual development, prayer, and more! Listen in and join the conversation.
"Families are the ultimate and best example of a team"
Every family is made up of individual people with strengths and weaknesses. Knowing these enables us to work together better! Patrick Lencioni, celebrated author and speaker, has found that there are six “geniuses” found in effective teams. Every person has two of them. When we find out our working genius and that of our spouse, we can function more effectively for the good of our family. Listen in to this podcast where we talk about the six working geniuses, how to figure out what yours is, and why it’s important.
Working Genius book and free resources - https://www.workinggenius.com/resources
Messy Family University events - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/university/
Join the community of the Messy Family Neighborhood - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/
“A definition of self-control is joyful mastery over one’s thoughts and desires.” - Dominican Sisters of Mary on Open Light Media
Children are little raw balls of personality - and some have more than others! They are unformed little people and it is the job of parents to form them. This is a great joy to be given the privilege of training a child in the way they should go, but (let’s be honest!) it can also be exhausting! In this reboot episode we have a conversation about teaching kids self-control which is an essential virtue for any successful person. Self-control is not only taught through things like discipline and giving consequences, it is also taught by giving our children tools and strategies to conquer the emotions inside them that may threaten to overwhelm them at times. This conversation was released four years ago and at the end we give an update on the kids that we discuss. It was good for us to see how far they have come! Listen in as we talk about self-control and join the conversation.
"A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." - Proverbs 31:10
Let’s be honest. Moms do much more work than the average person, especially when they are at home with young children for most of the day. Even moms who work, or who have a side hustle, rarely pull back on caring for children, running the household, and keeping everyone fed and clothed. But this great service to the family can also be a burden, it can cause resentment, and it can cause burnout. Moms can feel stuck, even trapped. How do we prevent that from happening? How can we change our perspective and embrace what we do for our family as our path to holiness and sanctification? It comes down to three things - identity, belonging, and mission. Listen in to learn more!
“We are witnesses to what the Lord Jesus has done in our lives.” ~ Tony Foy, Executive Director of NET Ministries Ireland
Many of you may have picked up that Mike is pretty proud of his Irish heritage. We had a daughter who wanted to be an international missionary at 18 and Mike was hesitant until she said she wanted to be part of NET Ireland. That was a quick sell! NET is an organization that forms missionaries to evangelize junior high and high school students all over the world. Tony Foy and his wife Sheena have been running NET Ireland for – years while they have been raising seven children of their own. In this conversation, we talk about both of our experiences raising children who become adult missionaries, share our differing perspectives, and give the lessons that we have learned through it all. Tony and Sheena are brilliant guests and we had some good crack (look up an Irish translation for that!). It was a joy for us to connect with other like minded parents who are also in ministry to hear their wisdom and stories about this greatest of adventures - Catholic family life.
“Most people spend more time planning a one-week vacation than they spend planning their life.” ~ Michael Hyatt
As we begin a new school year and the fall season we think this is a perfect time to start or re-start a new habit or routine in your family and be more intentional about your family culture. This is a great time for your family to do a reset! Too often we put off making changes in our family, or it ends with us just talking about it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. This is a special podcast that we did in front of a virtual “studio audience” - couples from our member site! We recorded it with them and will be starting small accountability groups to keep the resolutions from the “reset” going. After listening to this podcast if you want to join a small group, let us know! Or maybe you want to get together with some of your friends and do a “reset” together. Use this time of new schedules to make some new fresh habits for you and your family. We are always called to begin again and move upward and onward to strengthen our family culture!
“If you want to be a great parent, you need to be an amazing spouse” ~Mike and Alicia Hernon
Often romance is associated with shallow, fleeting feelings, but really, the romance that we share without spouses is a powerful example to our children of the exclusive intimate relationship that only spouses are to enjoy. A kiss in the kitchen or an embrace in front of your children is not only to make them say, “Dad! Mom! Ewww!” but it is to show them the way they are called to love. It is this intimate exclusive love that is the foundation of the family, and the best place for children to grow is within the shadow of the love of their parents. So it is essential that we continue to pursue our spouses and learn how to love them intimately. This is a task that should take our whole lives! And just to make it interesting (or difficult depending on your perspective!) men and women have different needs when it comes to intimacy and we need to be pursued in different ways.
“We do not hesitate to declare that devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus is the most effective school of the love of God; the love of God, We say, which must be the foundation on which to build the kingdom of God in the hearts of individuals, families, and nations”
~ Haurietis Aquas, 123
What is the devotion of Nine First Fridays? This is a request that Our Lord made to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque in 1675. In these visions, she saw Christ revealed with His heart exposed as He explained to her that this Heart was beating with love for all humankind. In this world that is getting darker and darker, more than ever we need to find refuge in the Sacred Heart of Jesus! The devotion is simple. Families go to mass for nine first Fridays in a row, with the intention of making reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for all those who ignore Him, scorn Him, and do not love Him. In return, Christ made 12 Promises to all who complete this devotion. You can find those in our blog this month! If families begin this devotion in October, June will be the 9th first Friday and then you can consecrate your family to the Sacred Heart on June 16, 2023! See below for some additional prayers to the Sacred Heart. This small offering of ours attains for us powerful blessings!
https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/prayers-to-the-sacred-heart
Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’” ~ St. John Paul II
All marriages go through a cycle. That cycle includes times of romance, when everything is going well, your love is full, and you are working as a team. It also includes times when things aren’t so great - we call this “disillusionment”. Disillusionment is when you don’t have the feelings of being in love; you may not even like your spouse very much! This is when we feel dry and even alone in our marriage and we need to choose to love. It is like times of dryness in our spiritual life. We still show up to mass, say our prayers, and go through the motions, but we don’t feel close to God. Our marriages can be like this as well! We need to learn that we still need to show up to work with our spouse, choose to smile and be kind, and speak with affection, even if the feelings aren’t there. In this podcast, we describe this part of the cycle of marriage and give some encouragement on how to deal with it and move through it because when you do, it leads to true joy, a love that is deep and real because it has been tested and tried.
“The family is where children discover how to be human. It’s where they learn how to respect and love other people.. where they discover their place in a family story larger than themselves.” -Archbishop Charles Chaput
We meet parents all the time who tell us, “My kids don’t get along!” and our response is, “Of course they don’t get along. That is kind of what your job is as parents. To teach them how to live in peace with other people and they practice this with their siblings.” Family is the training ground for life. This is where children learn how to be human - to fight, to forgive, to share, to live in community. Parents must be the stewards of the culture of the family and part of that culture is the relationship between brothers and sisters. The greatest gift a parent can give their child is a brother or sister - but that is just a starting point. We parents also need to intentionally work to teach those brothers and sisters to love each other. Because strong sibling relationships are one of life’s greatest joys. Listen in as we discuss this essential topic for parents.
Check out our blog post on this topic: Encouraging Good Sibling Relationships
Family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice.
- St. John Paul II
Let’s be honest. Parenting is hard. Some studies have shown that up to 18% of American parents regret having children. Though that statistic may not be completely true, it does show a growing number of people who don’t just struggle with being a parent, but actually resent it. We need to talk about this! It is good to acknowledge those feelings, but parents need to then move through those feelings, be curious about them, and make sure they don’t get stuck there. In this podcast, we talk about why people may feel this way and what to do about it. Our mission is to empower parents to embrace their sacred calling and we can’t do that without meeting parents where they are at. For those parents who struggle with this job - we hear you and you are welcome here. Listen in and join the conversation.
Check out our blog post on this topic: Help! I Hate Parenting My Kids (Sometimes)
Food is love, but it’s only love if it’s shared. ~ Fr. Leo Patalinghug
Family dinner is something so simple yet so important and foundational in your family culture. We need to constantly be reminded and encouraged to take time to focus on those relationships in our family daily, or at least weekly. In this fun, engaging conversation with Fr. Leo, we discuss family dinners, but also inviting others into our homes, and how to have true leisure. Fr. Leo makes the point that dinners together are not just important, they are actually essential! In this podcast we also talk about our upcoming cruise with Fr. Leo to Portugal and Fatima next spring. It is a river cruise through wine country but also to several shrines and holy places, particularly the blessed shrine of Our Lady of Fatima. We are blessed to have such a great friend in Fr. Leo and we hope that you will join us for this conversation, but also on our trip next year!
Fr. Leo’s organization - https://platinggrace.com/
Women Wonderfully Made FREE Webinar
Join us a the Cruise and Pilgrimage to Fatima - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/
Check out our blog post on this topic: Do Family Dinners Matter?
Blessed is the house where an older person lives! Blessed is the family that honours the elderly! - Pope Francis, from his message for the Second World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly
None of us live in a vacuum. We didn’t just appear upon the earth in isolation! We are all part of a family - not just our nuclear family, but a wider group made up of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents, stretching back generations. How often do we consider the role of our grandparents in our lives? Or the role that we will play in the lives of our grandchildren someday? In this podcast, we discuss the importance of these relationships, some guidelines for both generations to learn how to relate to each other, and how parents can embrace their role as grandparents. We have found that you never stop learning and growing in your relationship with your spouse or your children. This podcast will benefit everyone who has grandparents, who is a grandparent, and those who are navigating relationships between their children and their parents. This podcast is in response to the call of Pope Francis to celebrate the role of grandparents on the Sunday closest to the feast of St. Anne and Joachim, grandparents of Jesus, this year on July 24.
The vocation of marriage and the vocation of consecrated life beautifully work together and we think this interview demonstrates that fact! In this podcast we have a conversation with Sr. John Paul, from the order Mary Mother of the Eucharist, a Dominican congregation in Ann Arbor MI. She is a fellow Franciscan University alum and principal of St. Michael School in Columbus OH. Like parents, she is in charge of the formation of virtue in young children, but she sees this formation from a different perspective. During our conversation, she explains how to discuss the virtues in daily life and gives us some language to use. Sister also demonstrates how to spot virtues in children and call them out and shows why this is so important. Join in this recording of our member date night with a very special sister.
Dominican Virtue Tree: https://openlightmedia.com/online-learning/interactive-virtue-tree/
Family Board Meeting course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Moms and Dad Webinars & Courses: https://messyfamilyhood.com/
We love it when our listeners dictate what we talk about! In this episode we tackle some great email questions and voice memos that parents have sent us. A mom asks if its ok that her 2 yr old is wearing his sister’s dress up clothes and another mom is overwhelmed at another child on the way. Does this make her not “open to life” or a bad Catholic? We also had a wife share with us her heartache at her husband’s lack of faith in the home. How can she honor the Lord and honor her husband at the same time when he is not interested in living the faith? Listen in as we talk about these questions and the issue of keeping life in balance. How do we make time for it all? Our answers are empathetic, but also practical and we believe they can help many parents out there. Join the conversation!
Don’t miss the virtual Family Board Meeting in August - https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Fly down to the Catholic Couples Getaway on Cozumel island - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/
Join us for a Fatima Pilgrimage and Portugal Cruise - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/
“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” - G.K. Chesterton
As we celebrate the founding of our country, we want to take time to salute and honor those families who serve our country. The decision to serve affects not only those serving in our armed forces but also the spouses and children. In this podcast, we discuss with three military families on the joys and crosses of this vocation they have chosen to live. This conversation is really beautiful because much of what they share is applicable to any and every family. Important principles like trusting the Lord in everything, investing in your community and constantly pursuing your spouse are applicable to every marriage. We also ask about the virtue of patriotism and how to pass this on to our children. We hope this podcast will inspire you, it has inspired us!
Want to hear more on this topic? Check out our latest blog post on raising patriotic kids: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/raising-patriotic-kids/
Don’t miss the virtual Family Board Meeting in August - https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Fly down to the Catholic Couples Getaway on Cozumel island - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/
Join us for a Fatima Pilgrimage and Portugal Cruise - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/
“You know what my bedtime routine was when I was a kid? Darkness!” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
We love our listeners. And we love answering their questions! In this episode, we are joined by our Program Coordinator, Katie (Hernon) Gamboa who represents the “every-mom” and gives us some great topics to talk about. The first issue we tackle is sleep! Since few young parents ever get enough of it, we help out by giving some tips and tricks as well as perspective. One of us is good at getting kids to lay down and one is not. We explain how this happens and how to make sure it doesn’t happen to you. Another great question is in regards to big families. The more kids you have the more the humanity and brokenness you will experience as a family. Bringing children into the world isn’t just a matter of another pregnancy, it is another life that you are tied to for the long haul. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint! How do we soberly decide our family size? How do you know when and if you should take on a stewardship of another life? And the last question is in regards to fun. What does the Hernon family do for fun? The answer is simpler than you think! Listen in and join the conversation!
“It's better to be wrong together than right alone” - Michele Doman
Every couple argues. Or at least they should. The reason is that arguing can be a path to unity which is what marriage is all about. Some couples argue in measured tones with carefully reasoned ideas, while others argue with raised voices and emotional exchanges. Every couple is different, but there are some principles that we all can follow to make our “discussions with emotion” more productive and focused on bringing spouses closer together. Listen in as we give you Five Ways to Win Every Argument…. Just kidding. That would not be a very good marriage podcast! We will actually give you some tips to help you forge that unity in a manner that is healthy, holy, and good for both of you. This podcast is a re-boot of “Arguing in Marriage” from March 2015.
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – Augustine of Hippo
We want our community of messy families to be above average. Intentional. Vibrant. Better than all the rest. One way to do that is to be very thoughtful about how you spend your leisure time with your family this summer. Every family and every trip is different, but no matter what the length is or where you go, families should be sure to make the most of their time with their children. Vacations strengthen your family culture, help you and your children grow personally, and are good for mental health! But this will only happen if you are sure to define your “why” and then make a simple, flexible plan. Listen in to this podcast when we share some of our vacation experiences and give some tips and tricks for making the most of this special time with your family.
Every family has an anointing and in order to walk in that anointing we need to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. - Deacon Larry Oney After Jesus ascended into heaven the apostles had the Eucharist. They probably celebrated mass together, they had the Blessed Mother with them, and surely they prayed and fasted. But they did not go out and evangelize, heal the sick, or preach the word. Why? They were waiting for the Advocate, the Breath of God, the Power from on high - the Holy Spirit. Often we forget that we need the power of the Holy Spirit that lives within us to do any good work. He is the one that enlightens our minds when we don’t know how to respond to a child, He gives us the courage to be vulnerable with our spouse when its hard, and He enables us to lift our hearts in prayer. Join us for this interview with Deacon Larry and his wife Andi. They have two very different stories of walking with the Lord and their marriage is an unlikely match on many levels. But God brought them together and now they are serving alongside each other in preaching and teaching about the love of God and the joy they have in serving him.
“Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is always at the same time a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’...” ~ St John Paul II
What is one of the most important things you can give your marriage? TIME. We build relationships with the material of time - no time spent means nothing is being built. It is very easy for all of us to push time spent with our spouse to the back burner because although our marriages are Important, they are rarely Urgent. Think about it - there will always be something more urgent in life than spending time with your spouse. But there is nothing that is more important. Couples must intentionally take time to prioritize time with each other or it simply will not happen. Daily connection, regular date nights, and weekends away are all different types of time we can put aside for our marriage. You need to take time for your spouse, but you also need to spend it wisely. In this podcast, we discuss some common stumbling blocks for couples, practical ways to make this time for each other and even some conversation topics for you and your spouse.
So many of us don’t have a healthy relationship with our emotions and don’t have the boundaries that we all need to protect ourselves appropriately. We get caught up in the things we can’t control and wind up ignoring what we can control. In his book, “Own Your Past, Change Your Future” Dr. John Delony draws on his two decades of work as a therapist and crisis responder to teach parents how to take extreme ownership for themselves and their children. We were thrilled to be able to interview John and go even deeper into his thoughts on how we can be healthier people who can then be more effective spouses and parents. The lessons that he gives in this interview and in his book are timeless. Listen in as we discuss the real definition of “trauma” and “grief”, ownership of emotions and thoughts, the epidemic of loneliness and the need for friendship, and the role that parents play in all of this.
“For a Christian, joy isn’t what happens when life is going perfectly; it’s what happens when you know you are loved perfectly, even when life is a mess.” ~ Chris Stefanick
Sometimes we look at other couples and think, “Those people have it all together. It must be easy to be married to that person. We are the only one’s struggling.” Nothing could be further from the truth. This interview starts with fun questions like “What’s the best part about being married to Natalie?” and “How did Chris pop the question?”. But then, true to the brand of “Real Life Catholic”, Chris and Natalie quickly opened up their marriage to us to share the very real pain and suffering that they have journeyed through together. All of us have our own battles to fight in our lives, and often we bring these battles into our marriages. The question is, do our spouses come alongside us and fight FOR us, or do they themselves become another “battle to fight”? In this conversation, we discuss the process of healing from sexual abuse within marriage, the effect on both spouses, how you can help your spouse through their struggles, and how to lean in to all the grace that the sacrament of marriage has to give. This is a raw and real conversation that we believe will speak to the hearts of husbands and wives who take the time to listen.