We talk a lot on our program about the “messy-ness” of life, but we thought it would be good to take some time to unpack why exactly we use this term and why it's so important to every family. Every family is a messy family because we live in a broken, fallen world and we constantly are trying to repair relationships and situations that have ruptured. Why is it so important to recognize this? Because if we deny or ignore this reality, or try to control our situation and make it neat and perfect, we will only end up frustrating ourselves and making the situation worse. Families need to embrace the mess knowing that they are exactly where God wants them to be.
All of us deal with fears in life and overcoming them is the key to living in freedom in your relationships. People have anxieties about all sorts of things, but within your spouse you should be able to find a safe place. Within marriage is where you should be able to admit your fears, have them be seen in the light of truth, and then overcome them through action. Listen in while we discuss how you can recognize ways in which fear is holding you back from true connection with your spouse and ways to conquer that fear.
For more on this and other topics related to marriage, parenting and family life at https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
Divorce is so common in our culture today that the effects of it on children can easily be dismissed. Almost every couple who gets married has a family member whose life was affected by divorce, so we can think it must not be a big deal. But those people who are adult children of divorce will tell you that it is. It is a wound they carry their whole lives, but because of Jesus and His power over sin and death that wound can actually be transformed and become a life-giving wound. Dan and Beth Meola are the founders of the ministry “Life Giving Wounds” which serves those adults whose parents have divorced. Their compassion, wisdom, and vulnerability in sharing their own stories is inspiring and encouraging. Listen in to this conversation even if you are not an adult child of divorce. It will give you insights that you have not considered before regarding this pervasive issue in our society.
Parenting kids in a tech age; Teaching kids virtue in an age of tech; Is it possible to use tech with virtue?
“It is your responsibility to train your child in virtue and slowly move from protecting their innocence to building Christian maturity. This is true for many areas of life, including use of technology” - Mike and Alicia Hernon
We have talked about the harm that the overuse of screens can do to kids and especially teens, but in this podcast we give parents some ways that they can be proactive in this world of Big Tech. Screens are here to stay, so parents need to take them on as another area in which they need to train their children in virtue. Do not lose heart! It is possible to have virtuous kids who are on social media, play video games, and interact with others online. Listen in as we show you how.
Referenced in this episode
Catholic Youth Summer Camp - https://cysc.com/
Messy Family Membership - https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-neighborhood/
Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Family Dance-Off: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/dance-off/
At the suggestion of our members, we talked MONEY with Sam and Rob Fatzinger, parents of 14 and authors of the new book A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More. This conversation was insightful and full of great ideas for you and your families! Money is a hot button topic for many couples and we need to find ways to use our resources wisely especially when you have a larger family and live on one income. Rob and Sam show us that it is possible! Plus, living simply has other benefits such as the lessons it teaches our children, care for the environment, and a greater respect for the goods of the earth. Listen in to this fun conversation with the Fatzingers and the members of the Messy Family Neighborhood.
In this podcast, we answer listener questions in a new format - our new Program Coordinator, Katie Gamboa joins us to present topics for us to discuss. She did a great job! We may be biased since she is our most amazing oldest child (but we aren’t - she DID do a great job!) With Katie’s help, we tackle some sticky questions such as how to handle a sister who is coming out of the closet? How should this be handled with kids? Families are also struggling with the strong emotions of their children when the parents have big feelings themselves! Listen in as we discuss socializing young children, physical intimacy and the “desire discrepancy”, and expectations in marriage and family. Thank you to all our listeners who contact us with questions. We love to hear from you!
Part of our message at the Messy Family Project is that parenting is a path to holiness. But the question many couples have is how much parenting is God asking of us? Within the bounds of the Church’s teaching, there are many prudential judgements that couples have to make - when to abstain from sexual relations, how to give birth, how many children to have, how long to wait in between births, and how to incorporate this new baby into your family. In this podcast we share some of our birth experiences and the values that we have come to embrace through the ten children we have brought into the world all in the context of the gift that it is to be a parent. Children are the supreme gift of marriage - they are not only good in themselves and good for the world - children are also good for us! Listen in as we take on this important discussion of infants, childbirth, NFP and more.
Join us in the Play and Pray Challenge: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/
Find out more about the course for mothers and daughters: https://messyfamilyhood.com/maidens-signup/
Find out more about the course for dads: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/
April 22 is Earth Day, but maybe we Catholics could call it Creation Day and celebrate the loving Father who gave this world to us to “till and keep”. Maybe we were thinking of this because Mike was chopping down old trees on our property and we all have sore backs this morning! But seriously, some may look at the extreme environmentalists and be tempted to move to the other extreme and not take seriously their stewardship of the land and animals that are part of our world - but that is not a Christian response! Time and time again our Church has encouraged people to take responsibility for creation around us, be it plants, animals, or the earth itself. We are supposed to take care of it and use it well. Listen in as we talk about teaching and modeling for our children the correct way to care for the gift of creation.
For more information and resources visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
During this episode, Mike shares his story of his parents’ divorce when he was a teen and his own journey of healing over the past 20 years. But this is more than just his story. We also share the hope that Christ brings to us in all our relationships, the lessons learned from suffering and pain, and, ironically, how the divorce actually strengthened his belief in marriage as a covenant between two people that should never be violated. Anyone who has experienced the effects of divorce in their own lives, or who has married someone who has needs to hear this message. Even though divorce is ubiquitous, it is not without devastating effects. What is the answer? Its the same answer that applies to us all - we need to be Fathered by God and find our identity in Him. Listen in and have hope!
Take Listener Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP-2021
Referenced ministry for children of divorce: https://www.lifegivingwounds.org/
Support their sacred art drive: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sacred-art-for-children-of-divorce#/
For years, Patrick Lencioni has had books on the top of the best seller charts. He is a master at teaching businesses how to improve their culture and organizational health. In this podcast, Pat and his wife Laura join us to talk about the culture and health of our families and how his lessons from business can help us! In our Family Board Meeting course, we use his book 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family to help couples discover their unique values and rallying cry so this interview was a great time for us to go even deeper into these questions with our listeners. This podcast is from a Zoom call that we had with our members and the Lencionis so we were able to take questions from the audience and have some great interaction. Listen in to this compelling conversation!
Complete our listener survey at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MFP-2021
Take Pat’s Working Genius assessment using our special discount code: Messyfamily at https://www.workinggenius.com/
Join the Family Board Meeting course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
This is the year of St. Joseph so let’s talk about what we can learn from this man who knew Jesus and Mary more intimately than any other person who has ever lived. There is so much we can learn from him! Because there is really no definitive teaching on St. Joseph, we can extrapolate from what we know about Jewish culture at the time and what we read in scripture to imagine what he must have been like. We do know that he can teach us about being a spouse, a parent, a follower of Christ. He can show us how to love Jesus and Mary better and, as patron of the family, he is a powerful intercessor for us! Listen in to this insightful conversation about the man who can serve as a model to us all - St. Joseph.
Webinar on Holy Week as a Family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/holy-week-webinar/
5 Week Family Board Meeting Course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Join us for an extraordinary interview with Fr. Jay Donahue, a priest of the Diocese of Pittsburgh who has a heart for marriage and a deep and abiding love for Christ. We discuss with Fr. Jay the impact that his own large family had on him, how couples can image Christ’s love for the Church and the importance of the Blessed Mother in the lives of priests and everyone in the Church. He even dives into the sexual scandals that have plagued our Church with extraordinary love and compassion. You will be inspired hearing his passion for marriage and God’s vision for marriage. We hope you enjoy this interview!
Webinar on Holy Week as a Family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/holy-week-webinar/
5 Week Family Board Meeting Course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Discipline is the issue that we get the most questions about probably because there is so much conflicting advice for parents out there. The bottom line is that every couple must decide for themselves how they will form the children that God has given to them. But, don’t worry, we do have some principles and encouragement to give you! In this episode, we discuss the importance of Respect in the home. For children to truly be obedient and secure in their family, they need to respect their parents. Evidence of this respect is what we call “first-time obedience”. Yes, it is possible and parents should expect it of their children.
Download our Discipline Guide:https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/
Join waiting list for next Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/
Looking for ideas on how to celebrate Lent as a couple or as a family? Listen in! When a married person celebrates Lent, especially when they have children, it looks very different than how a single person or religious does it. Lent is a time to take stock of how we are responding to God’s grace to become who He is calling us to be. How are we becoming a better wife, mother, husband, or father? To really invest in Lent this year, we want to encourage you to consider commitments of prayer, fasting and mercy all in light of your married vocation. We have provided a great resource for you on our website -- Cana90! Sign up to receive daily emails of encouragement, tracking sheet, services for the Triduum, ideas for weekend celebrations with children, and more! Sign up for free online or order the book. Let us walk with you and encourage each other on our Lenten journey.
Become a member of the Neighborhood: https://messyfamilyhood.com/join-jan-2021/
CANA 90 and Stations Books : https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/
In 1924, Eric Liddell gave up his place to compete in the Olympics final heat of the 100m race because it was held on a Sunday. He probably would have won that race, but his desire to keep the Lord’s Day holy stopped him. Would we have that courage? Starting in Exodus, the Lord has asked HIs people to keep holy His day. He commands us to set it apart from all other days to honor Him, but also for our own good! God will never ask us to do something that is not good for us, and He COMMANDS us to do things essential for our health and well-being. How does your family set this day apart? Have you been influenced by the culture, especially with the restrictions put upon us by the pandemic? How are you setting this day apart from all other days in your home? Listen in for encouragement and ideas on how to reclaim the Lord’s Day.
January is a time of beginnings and new resolutions. The best way to make plans for the future is to evaluate where you are today! You can’t get directions unless you know where you are. In this podcast, we give you some encouragement as well as a method to assess where your family is at using our Five Elements of Family Culture. We hope that doing this assessment will inspire you to do your own Family Board Meeting, but even if you don’t, knowing where you are will help your family to make plans for your future.
*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Two Quizzes:
Five Love Languages Quiz - https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/couples-quiz/
Temperaments Quiz - http://www.temperamentquiz.com/
We are asked very often how parents can create an environment in the home that will keep their kids close to the faith. To help give parents even more resources for this, we decided to interview Colin and Aimee MacIver, who are both parents, teachers, and authors for Ascension Press. They have created resources for parents to help them catechize their children and also to communicate the beautiful truths found in the Theology of the Body. Both Colin and Aimee are kindred spirits who have a heart for teens and their parents. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom that we think you will benefit from! Also, we discuss our upcoming free webinar and paid Family Board Meeting workshop designed to help parents create a game plan for their family as we begin 2021. Listen in!
*** Find out more about our February weekend workshop on the Family Board Meeting: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/
Resources from Colin and Aimee:
- The Catechist's Field Guide to Confirmation, by Colin MacIver - https://ascensionpress.com/products/the-catechists-field-guide-to-confirmation
- Theology of the Body for Teens, Middle School Edition, Colin & Aimee MacIver, contributors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/theology-of-the-body-for-teens-middle-school-edition-student-pack-includes-online-course-access
- Baptism: Belonging in the Family of God, Parent's Guide, Colin & Aimee MacIver, authors - https://ascensionpress.com/products/belonging-parents-guide-1
- Quick Catholic Lessons with Fr. Mike Schmitz - https://ascensionpress.com/collections/quick-catholic-lessons-with-fr-mike-vol-2
There are many parents who look for advice from friends, and sometimes the responses are in the form of absolute declarations about the “only way” to parent. In reality, many parenting matters are best left to an individual’s judgment. As Catholics, we believe that there are certain issues that are black and white, but not everything falls into that category! The first step to responding to others with charity is to realize that our way is not always the way for everyone. In this episode, we also take on a question about discipline when you have 3 under 3, which gives us the chance to talk about toddlers - one of our favorite topics! And we play a recording of a question sent in by a listener about mentoring teen boys whose brains are being flooded with testosterone. Our answer? Look to the elephants. No, really, we do say that. Listen in and join the conversation!
**Sign up for the free webinar on the Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting-2021/
For More:
If you've been wondering how to bring the rich traditions of the Catholic Church's liturgical year into your home and into your family, this is the podcast for you! In it, we interview Kendra Tierney of Catholic All Year about incorporating the richness of our faith into the life of your family. Kendra has lots of great ideas for moms and dads of all ages and family sizes. After discussing the importance of incorporating Catholic traditions into family life we talk about what to do with kids of various ages, or when you have a spouse who is not enthusiastic about new traditions. Kendra has some truly great wisdom to share! Because this was an interview with our member site (the messy family neighborhood), we also have some great questions from other parents included in this podcast. Listen in and get inspired to strengthen your family’s culture this Advent and Christmas season.
Referenced:
Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/
Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/
Board Meeting Webinar: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/
The use of technology is a major issue in most households. Tech is invading our homes in an unprecedented manner and the influence on our children is something we are just beginning to comprehend. How can parents effectively navigate these waters with their children? Kids need guidance in this area more than almost any other area of Life, but it is here where parents usually are completely unaware. In this essential podcast for parents we try to light a fire underneath you and show the seriousness of the tech situation with kids. We share our own experience and start giving you tips and tricks to guide your children on their tech use.
Referenced:
Maidens Course: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/maidens-course/
Support our ministry to families: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/
Many times when we think about taking time to pray parents’ first reaction is “I don’t have time to pray!” But the problem with that is that prayer is the foundation of our life of faith and relationship with God. As we pray, we grow in knowledge and love of God. We all need that! In this podcast, we discuss internal prayer which is also called mental prayer. The many means that the Church has given us to pray such as in our liturgy are beautiful and some are essential, but that is not all there is. We need to take time to speak to God and hear Him speak to us in the scriptures and within our hearts. How should you do this? Where can you start? Listen in as we share about our own prayer life and walk you through how we take the time to be with Our Lord.
Referenced:
We have a treat for you as we are sharing a special date night interview with Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They have been married for 40 years and have six children along with eighteen grandchildren. They are world-renowned Catholic evangelists, speakers, authors and teachers. In this show they share their wisdom on falling in love and staying in love through the tough times. They share some of their struggles and not always being on the same page with great encouragement and direction for couples. They also share some of the challenges in parenting and how to effectively pass on the faith to our children. You won’t want to miss this episode and you may want to take notes. We also had a follow-up handout if you would like to use this show as a conversation starter for you and your spouse.
Referenced in this episode:
Handout for this special date night: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/
Subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/
After 26 years of parenting you would think that we knew how to promote an atmosphere of virtue in our home automatically. But it doesn’t work that way! We have had to stop and evaluate the way that our younger children have been treating each other and address it intentionally. In this podcast, we share some of the teaching we gave to our kids about practicing kindness, how we followed up afterwards, and why its important to train the actions AND the hearts of our children. Listen in to hear our Seven Tips on Kids and Kindness at home as well as Mike’s reflections on his recent hike on the Appalachian Trail, update on our fabulously successful Date Night with the Hahns, upcoming events, and how to promote our podcast.
Referenced:
The sexual relationship you have with your spouse is the most intimate relationship you will ever have, but it certainly can be complicated! In this podcast, we have a conversation with Byron and Francine Pirola, founders of Smartloving and international speakers and teachers. Our conversation about physical intimacy between spouses is honest, frank, and explicit, so please listen to this podcast in privacy. But we do believe this information is desperately needed by couples, so we have created a summary and download for you to use after listening to the podcast to create a conversation with your spouse. Please listen in, use this topic as a conversation starter with your spouse, and share with others!
Referenced:
All parents will fail. How do we know this? Because we are all imperfect! Many parents feel like failures when grieving over their children’s poor decisions or loss of faith. Or they look at themselves in the mirror and don’t like who they have become. How we define failure and how we deal with it will either paralyze us or call us on to greater holiness and virtue. Recognizing how we have failed our children, and even how our own parents have failed us, is how we learn and grow. In this podcast we define the difference between shame and guilt (one is good and the other bad!), the importance of recognizing what we can control and what we cannot, and the centrality of forgiveness in our relationships with our children, no matter what their age. In addition to some hard truths, this podcast gives hope to every parent who wants to improve themselves through extreme ownership and humility.
Referenced: